Sunday, November 2, 2025

 

THE IMPERFECT DAY
(2025 version)

(Dedicated to the Wolf Gang — for making every imperfect day unforgettable)


THE MORNING

“The damn alarm... Who put it on?” I screamed.

My mom shouted back from the kitchen, “The LPG cylinder is empty! You have to go to the distributor’s office and register for a new one as early as possible, or else you’ll be stuck in a long queue. And anyway, it’s already 7 a.m. — you shouldn’t be sleeping after that in summer!”

After breakfast, while I was getting ready, I asked my mom for ₹20.
She looked suspicious. “Why?”
I said, “If I meet with an accident on the way while registering, I’ll need it to repair my cycle and buy a few band-aids.”
After that completely logical reply, she somehow gave me the money.

I set out for my first destination of the day — the LPG distributor’s office.

From there, I went to the Kalitala Boys Club, where I knew I’d find at least two or three of my college friends. And I wasn’t disappointed. I saw Santanu and Sugato deeply engrossed in a carrom match — a real nail-biter. Everyone in the club was watching their game... except one person.

That was Arnab — playing carrom with himself!

I asked one of the guys, “Why is he playing alone?”
He said, “Arnab lost the last five matches to Sugato, so he’s trying to improve his form.”

I understood his trauma and didn’t disturb him. Arnab is a good poet — or at least, he claims to be. He writes contemporary poems and has a degree in Bengali literature. After graduation, he tried for SSC (School Service Commission) but failed. Personally, I think the examiner who checked his answer sheet just couldn’t understand his ‘talent’ (much like the rest of us — we never understood his poetry either).

Once in college, he recited one of his poems. I still remember a few words — something like “pakhi ure jay... gacher pata jhore jay...” (the bird flies away... the leaves fall...). Unfortunately, not a single listener could figure out what he meant. Anyway, now he’s trying to improve his carrom skills instead.

Finally, the game between Sugato and Santanu ended — Sugato won.
I told them, “Let’s go to our old thek. Sayak and Saswata are waiting for us there.”

Though they both seemed keen for another game, I managed to drag them along.
Sugato said he wouldn’t join us because he had to visit his uncle in the afternoon. Apparently, his uncle knew someone in a company who could arrange a job for ₹5,000–6,000 a month.

I smiled silently. I’d heard that same story from several cousins ever since I graduated with History honours — none of whom have yet succeeded in convincing me.

I wished Sugato the best of luck and left the club with Santanu.

Now, this guy Santanu — he’s brilliant. He graduated with first class in Geography and is doing his master’s now. I’m sure he’ll get through SSC next year.

We reached our thek half an hour earlier than usual, but Sayak and Saswata were already there.

As soon as Sayak saw me, he yelled, “It’s your turn today!”

“I know! I’ll give the money, but someone else has to buy the cigarettes. My dad’s standing right in front of the shop.”

Eventually, Saswata went. He was the only one among us who actually had a job after graduation — though he resigned after a month. Why? Because, as he said, he wanted to “study more.” He’s now doing his M.Sc. in Physics.

The time we spend at our thek is the best part of our daily lives. It’s where we forget all our tensions — about jobs, futures, responsibilities — everything.

As usual, we began by mocking the so-called “Employment News” — the newspaper every unemployed guy reads religiously — and soon, our topic shifted.

“Do you know,” I said, “I saw Rituparna — the most beautiful girl from our college — talking to Santosh!”

That was it. Our discussion turned instantly to Rituparna.

After a while, we paid our regular “visit” to the share market (with empty pockets, of course), under the expert guidance of Saswata.

About an hour later, we saw Tanay and his friend Tarapada rushing toward us. Tanay teaches at a primary school, and Tarapada is an actor — he appears in Bengali TV serials. They’re the only members of our group (which we named Wolf — don’t ask why; we just liked it) who actually earn money.

Tarapada, the richest among us, even has a mobile phone. He always carries it in his hand like a trophy.

As soon as he reached us, he started shouting, “Friends, we have to do something about it! We can’t tolerate this anymore!”

We all screamed together, “What the hell happened?”

Tanay explained, “Guys, you know Diptanshu, right?”
We groaned, “Yes… that idiot!”

Tanay continued, “That guy proposed to Ananya. And when she refused, he threatened her!”

Ananya Banerjee — the girlfriend of our close friend Sabyasachi — was the last person that psycho should’ve messed with.

Saby was in the hospital, recovering from a broken leg, and Diptanshu clearly thought it was a golden opportunity.

I said, “We have to teach him a lesson again — like last time.”

Sayak yelled, “Come on, guys, let’s go kick his ass!”

Without hesitation, we unlocked our cycles and rode straight to Diptanshu’s house.

When we reached, his brother was standing at the door.
“Call your brother,” Tanay said.

“He’s studying,” the brother replied.

Saswata snapped, “If he doesn’t come out, we’re going in.”

Then suddenly, Diptanshu appeared and shouted, “What the hell is this?”

No one was in the mood to answer politely. Tanay said calmly, “Come outside. We just want a few words.”

He said, “Say it here.”

Sayak replied, “We can, but I don’t think your parents would enjoy listening.”

Without another word, Diptanshu stepped outside and walked with us to the roadside.

Five minutes later, our “talk” was over — and we started punching and kicking him.

He was stronger than any one of us individually, but united, we turned him into pulp.

We kept hitting until we were out of breath.

Just then, a bike screeched to a stop.

It was Anindya — the most irritating guy we knew. He shouted, “You idiots! Don’t you have anything better to do than fight on the road? Try to do something good in life!”

We were still pumped with adrenaline, and Saswata handled it this time. He stepped forward and punched Anindya straight in the face.

Totally unprepared, Anindya fell — along with his bike. For a moment, there was total silence. Then he started crying.

That threw us off completely.

We forgot all about Diptanshu and rushed to help him up. While we were busy with Anindya, Diptanshu ran back home — not that we cared anymore.

Anindya was hurt but not seriously. Santanu said, “We should take him to the hospital. If we leave him here, it’ll be bad for him — and worse for us if he reports it later.”

So, reluctantly, we agreed.

We carried him — Saswata had him seated on the front bar of his cycle — and headed toward the hospital where Sabyasachi was admitted.

Tarapada locked his own cycle and rode Anindya’s bike instead.

The whole way, Anindya kept sobbing until Saswata threatened, “Stop crying, or I’ll hit you again.”

That worked.

At the hospital, we handed him over to the doctors. Tarapada slipped the bike keys into his pocket and said, “Don’t lecture people while riding a bike — it can be hazardous to your health.”

The doctor checked him and said no bones were broken — just minor bruises. They’d release him in the evening.

We were honestly disappointed — we thought the bike had at least broken three or four bones!

Santanu said, “Let’s go see Sabyasachi.”

Everyone agreed.

We went to the second floor, only to find his bed empty.

A nurse said, “That guy with the broken ankle? He was discharged this morning. He’s fine now.”

That news made our day.

While returning, we couldn’t stop laughing about how we’d “successfully” beaten up Diptanshu.

Then I checked my watch — “Oh no, it’s 1 p.m.! I have to get home before Dad reaches!”

Sayak said, “Let’s have a smoke first.”

I refused. I knew if I got home after Dad, he’d interrogate me for hours — where I was, what I was doing, why I exist, etc.

So I said a quick goodbye and pedalled home at full speed.

THE AFTERNOON

“Thank God,” I sighed when I saw that my dad wasn’t home.

But before I could relax, Mom started yelling.
“Where have you been since morning, after finishing your work?”

“I went to the hospital to see my friend,” I said.

She shot back, “You mean to say you spent four hours in the hospital? Don’t lie to me! Let your father come — I’m going to tell him everything.”

I replied, “Do whatever you want, just don’t bother me.”

Once, I’d read a quote in a book — ‘The child shows the man as morning shows the day.’
But clearly, whoever wrote that hadn’t seen a day like mine. He must’ve meant his morning, not everyone else’s.

So I started preparing myself mentally for the upcoming Kurukshetra.

Dad returned home after fifteen minutes.
During lunch, Mom began her report: “Your jobless son left home before 9 a.m. and came back after 1 p.m.”

I immediately protested, “It was 9:15 when I left — not before 9! Please get your figures right before complaining.”

Dad glared at me and said, “I don’t care when you go out or come back. The only figure that matters is your 59% in History Honours — and since then, you’ve been sitting idle, doing nothing! Look at your friends — Avijeet, Niladri — they’re all earning now. And you? You waste time fooling around with those useless boys. When you’re hungry, will they feed you?”

He went on — the same blah blah blah — part of his daily (or weekly) routine sermon.

After lunch, I quietly went to bed.

Sometimes, I do think Dad is right. I should do something.

Once in a while, I even feel inspired to start preparing for PSC or other government exams — but a few days later, the motivation vanishes like smoke.

Still, this time I told myself, “No excuses. From tomorrow, I’ll seriously start preparing for government services.”

Whether I actually would or not — well, that was a mystery for the next morning to solve.

THE EVENING

I woke up at 4:30 p.m.

The first thing Mom said was, “I gave you twenty rupees in the morning. What did you do with it?”

Without missing a beat, I replied, “I bought a 500 ml bottle of Thums Up and drank it.”

After that, no further questions were asked.

I saw Dad getting ready to leave for his dispensary, and once he left, I started preparing for my evening thek.

“Come back early!” Mom said as I stepped out.
“I will,” I promised — though we both knew that was a lie.

When I reached the thek, I saw only Arnab there.

“Hey,” he called out, “I heard you guys beat up Diptanshu today? Tell me everything!”

Honestly, I was more interested in hearing his story — the one about how he lost five consecutive carrom matches to Sugato — but I knew better than to say that. If I did, he might treat me the same way we treated Diptanshu! So, I told him the whole story briefly.

Soon, everyone else arrived — including Sabyasachi and Sugato.

I noticed Tarapada carrying a side bag.
“Why the bag?” I asked.
“It’s empty,” he replied. “It belongs to my friend Dipayan. I borrowed it last week and have to return it tonight. He’s got an interview tomorrow.”

Then the conversation turned back to the day’s adventures.
Sayak exploded, “That idiot Anindya ruined half our fun today.”

Sabyasachi, still limping a bit from his accident, shouted, “If that Diptanshu proposes to Ananya again, I’ll kill him!”

Santanu said calmly, “Cool down, yaar. You don’t need to do anything alone — we’re always with you.”

Saby nodded. “I know that, but how could he dare? He knows everything about me and Ananya!”

“That’s why we call him psycho,” I said.

Then, turning to Sugato, I asked, “So, did you get the job?”

He snapped, “Do I look like someone who just got a job?”

I replied, “I don’t know, maybe.”

He sighed, “That damn guy told my uncle that if I pay him fifty thousand rupees, only then he’ll get me the job!”

Arnab chuckled, “Wake up from your dreams, man — this is real life.”
“I know,” grumbled Sugato.

Just then, I shouted, “Look!” and pointed towards the road.
“I think that’s Santosh and Rituparna!”

Everyone turned. Sure enough — it was them.

Tanay said, eyes wide, “Guys, I can’t believe my eyes. Rituparna… with Santosh Bhakat??”

We all stared. The two were walking side by side, talking and laughing. Santosh, the most serious and quiet guy we knew — and he had managed to take Rituparna out! Unbelievable.

Sayak grinned. “See, guys? The universe just gave us a new chance for fun!”

Tanay frowned. “No, no. Santosh is a serious type. If we tease him, he’ll take it the wrong way.”

“Then give me an idea that doesn’t hurt him,” said Sayak. “We can’t just let this golden opportunity go.”

I smirked. “I have an idea.”

A few minutes later, we were following the couple. They didn’t notice us. Suddenly, we all shouted together —
“Hey Bhoooooookaaaaaa! What the hell are you doing?”

The way they jumped — priceless. Their speed doubled instantly.

We burst out laughing.

Back at the thek, we were still laughing about their reaction.

“I still can’t believe how he managed to take her out,” said Saswata.
“None of us can,” added Sabyasachi.

We then drifted into our usual movie and gossip session until I said, “Guys, I have a plan for tonight.”

Sayak perked up. “Tell us.”
“What about a movie at Tarapada’s place?” I suggested.

“Which one?” asked Arnab.
“Any one. We’ll check Samar’s CD parlour,” I replied.

Saswata said, “Can’t join tonight, need to head home early.”
Sayak added, “I’m not in a movie mood either. Let’s do something else.”

“Okay then,” I said, “I’ve got another plan.”

Sabyasachi asked, “Now what?”

“I think we’re missing something in life,” I said.
Arnab smirked, “A job?”

“No!” I replied. “I mean, yes, but not that. I’m talking about true love!”

“Are you out of your mind?” said Saswata.

“I’m serious. After seeing Santosh and Rituparna today, I’m sure we all need a girl in our lives,” I insisted.

“Why?” asked Sayak. “We’re doing fine as we are.”

“Because,” I said, “we’re all frustrated — some of us jobless, some tired of exams. But don’t you think we need someone who’ll be there through thick and thin — who’ll console us in pain, be happy in our joy, and stand by us always? That’s true love.”

Sugato nodded. “Agreed. We need girlfriends.”

Sayak laughed. “So what’s the plan? Where do we find this ‘true love’?”

“Simple,” I said. “The girls’ hostel of our ex-college.”

Everyone burst out laughing — but within five minutes, they were all in.

We went straight to Samar’s CD parlour first. His brother was sitting at the counter.

“Where’s Samar?” asked Sayak.

“He and Rajdeep-da went upstairs ten minutes ago,” came the reply.

We immediately understood what that meant. Upstairs was a small storeroom — their favourite secret spot for drinking and smoking up.

We climbed the stairs and knocked on the closed door. Rajdeep opened it, eyes half-glazed but cheerful. “Hey guys! What’s up? Come in!”

Two empty whisky bottles were already on the table.

I explained our new “operation girlfriend” idea.

Rajdeep burst out laughing. “Good idea, but I can’t call Aditi now. I’m drunk — she’ll kill me if she realises.”

Then Samar added, “Hang on, yaar. Let’s have some rum first, then we’ll think about it.”

None of us really wanted to drink, but when those two insisted, we caved.

I worried that Mom would smell the alcohol when I returned, so I made a mental note to buy a few Centre Fresh later.

Soon, the glasses were filled. Everyone took 3–4 pegs. Samar always kept a good stock — he was our unofficial alcohol supplier since college.

We started reminiscing about our college days — truly the golden time of our lives. Each of us had our own version of “fun” back then.

By the time the bottles were empty and we’d rolled some grass, we were, let’s say, well motivated.

Then Saswata suddenly declared, “Now let’s go to the girls’ hostel!”

Sugato asked, “Rajdeep, Samar — are you guys coming?”

Rajdeep groaned, “I can’t even stand properly.”

Saswata, slurring slightly, said, “We don’t need to stand properly, we’ll go by cycle!”

Rajdeep laughed, “I’m not going anywhere.”

Samar stood up. “Okay, I’ll come. Let Rajdeep stay. He looks like a potato right now anyway.”

We all agreed. Samar was famous for holding his liquor like a champ. Even after six pegs, he behaved like a saint — that’s why in college we called him “The Alcohol Tank.”

So, with Samar as our new recruit, we set off for the girls’ hostel — seven idiots on cycles, wobbling slightly but full of confidence.

My head was spinning a bit, but I kept pedalling. On the way, Saswata said, “We’ll need a new plan now that Rajdeep isn’t with us. We can’t call Aditi.”

Sayak said, “We’ll plan once we reach there.”

Suddenly — crash!

Arnab and Santanu had collided and were sprawled in the middle of the road.

Santanu yelled, “Arnab, you shouldn’t drink if you can’t control yourself!”
Arnab shouted back, “I am in control! Maybe you’re blind!”

Sayak sighed, “Alright drama queens, enough. Let’s move.”

We got back on our cycles and pedalled on.

When we finally reached the hostel, we noticed several couples sitting in the nearby boxing ring — the unofficial lovers’ spot of the campus.

“I’ve never seen anyone box there,” I muttered. “Only love matches.”

“Okay, now what?” asked Saswata.

I said, “We’ll call Aditi and tell her we’re Rajdeep’s friends. Then we’ll ask her to bring out a few of her friends for us.”

Tanay stared at me. “Are you mad? She doesn’t even know us! Why would she help random guys like us? What will we tell her — that we came searching for love?”

“Fair point,” I admitted.

Thankfully, Samar jumped in. “No worries, friends. I know someone here — Moumita, a junior student. She’ll help us.”

He walked up to the hostel gate and told the guard, “Please call Moumita.”

Within minutes, a girl came out. Samar introduced us and explained our noble mission.

Moumita laughed uncontrollably for two full minutes.

When she finally stopped, I asked, “Why are you laughing?”

“Nothing,” she said. “So what exactly do you want me to do? Call a few girls so you can propose to them?”

Her tone irritated me, but I stayed polite.

Sayak replied, “Yes, that’s exactly what we want.”

“Do you even know any of them?” she asked.

Sayak said, “No.”

“Then what are you planning to say when they come out?” she smirked.

I was getting irritated, so I replied dramatically, “Do you believe in love at first sight? I fell in love with you the moment I saw you walking towards us. Please accept me as your boyfriend and be my emotional support in this cruel world.”

Her expression was priceless — part confusion, part disbelief.

“Okay,” she said finally, “I’ll try to call some girls for you.”

She mumbled something else too, but by then I was too dizzy to hear.

“Are you really going to say that to a girl?” asked Saswata.
“Of course not,” I replied. “That was just practice dialogue.”

We waited. Ten minutes passed. No one came.

“Let’s sit in the boxing ring,” suggested Tanay. “At least there’s shade.”

We sat near a couple who promptly sniffed the air, realised we were drunk, and immediately relocated to the other side. We didn’t care.

Another ten minutes went by. Finally, Moumita returned — alone.

“I tried, but no one wants to come,” she said.

Sayak protested, “Why not? We’re good guys, not roadside Romeos!”

Right on cue, Santanu, who had downed six pegs, slurred loudly, “Yesss… we’re gooood boys!”

Arnab followed, “We neeeever touched any girrrl in our liiife!”

They were officially out of control.

Moumita probably caught the smell of whisky and realised the truth. “Okay, my job here is done. I have a test tomorrow.” And before we could say anything, she disappeared inside.

“Well,” said Saswata, “so much for your ‘foolproof’ plan.”

“Hey, whisky wasn’t part of my plan,” I said defensively.

“Now what?” asked Sayak. “Back to the thek?”

“No, wait,” said Sugato. “I have a new plan.”

Arnab groaned, “No more plans, please. I’m going home.”

I laughed, “Home? What are you going to tell your mom — ‘Mummyyyy open the doorrrr, I’m baaackk’? You’re in no condition to go home!”

Arnab stayed quiet.

“Anyway,” said Sugato, “listen. We’ve already waited half an hour — let’s stay another thirty minutes. We’ll sit here and whenever we see any girls coming in or going out, we’ll talk to them.”

“That’s actually a decent plan,” said Sayak.

“But what about the alcohol smell?” I reminded him.

“We’ll talk from a safe distance,” said Sugato. “And Santanu, Arnab — you two stay here. You’re already half dead.”

“Fine,” said Santanu. “We’ll watch and laugh while you guys flirt.”

“Perfect,” said Sugato. “If we’re successful, we’ll bring them back here for a group chat.”

We waited. Ten minutes later, three girls appeared near the gate.

“Targets incoming,” I whispered.

“So who’s going?” asked Saswata.

“It’s Sugato’s plan — he should go,” I said.

All heads turned toward him.

“I’ve never spoken to girls,” he stammered. “I’ll get nervous! Tarapada should go instead.”

Everyone agreed instantly.

“Fine,” said Tarapada, “but I’m not going alone. Subhro, you’re coming.”

“Okay,” I said.

We walked toward the girls. “Excuse me,” I said politely, “do you mind if we take a few minutes of your time?”

They looked startled — two random guys in front of the hostel at 8 p.m. wasn’t exactly normal.

“Can you spare five minutes?” asked Tarapada.

One of the girls — the pretty one — looked at my friend’s side bag suspiciously. Another said, “What are you selling?”

“What?! We’re not salesmen!” I said, half laughing, half offended.

“Yes, yes,” said the beautiful one with a teasing smile, “every salesman says that first!”

She laughed — and honestly, she looked like an angel when she did.

But now I was annoyed — all thanks to Tarapada’s stupid bag, which made us look like door-to-door salesmen.

“Listen,” I said, “we’re not selling anything. We just want to be friends.”

“We don’t know you,” she said. “We don’t make friends with strangers.”

“Every friend was a stranger once,” I countered smartly.

Another girl snapped, “Don’t you understand? We’re not interested!”

“What’s the harm in friendship?” insisted Tarapada.

“How many times must we tell you — we don’t befriend drunken roadside Romeos!” she shouted.

Uh oh. They’d smelled it.

“None of us is a roadside Romeo!” I protested. “What do you think of yourselves—”

Before I could finish, Sayak (the master of bad timing) appeared and shouted, “Who the hell are you, you bloody—!”

And that was it.

The girls screamed, “Guards! Guards!”

Two hostel guards started running toward us.

We didn’t wait. We sprinted — full speed — straight to the boxing ring.

One look back, and I saw the guards questioning the girls, one of them pointing right at us.

Our so-called foolproof plan had officially crashed and burned.

We ran for our lives — cycles flying, hearts pounding, lungs on fire.

When we finally stopped at the main road, Santanu gasped, “Never again. Never in my life am I going near that hostel.”

Arnab added, “If those guards had caught us, we’d have been on tomorrow’s front page — ‘Local boys caught misbehaving near hostel!’”

Everyone burst out laughing again. The tension slowly turned into amusement.

“Okay, mission failed,” said Sayak, “but at least we tried!”

Saswata sighed. “Tried? We almost went to jail for this ‘try!’”

Sabyasachi shook his head. “Forget it, guys. Let’s do something sane — like eat.”

“Perfect idea,” said Tarapada. “I know a tea stall nearby.”

We parked our cycles and sat down at a stall beside the main road. The tea tasted divine after all the madness.

Tanay said, “This is exactly why we’ll never grow up.”

Arnab replied, “Why should we? Adults are boring.”

We laughed, clinked our tea glasses, and ordered another round.

After finishing, we each went our separate ways. On the way back, I stopped at a shop, bought three Centre Fresh, and popped all of them at once — just to be safe.

By the time I reached home, it was 9:30 p.m. The door was locked from the inside.

I knocked.

Mom opened the door, looking furious. “You promised you’d be back early!”

“I lost track of time,” I said, walking in.

“Have you been drinking?” she asked, sniffing suspiciously.

I prayed silently. “Of course not!” I said quickly. “Do you really think I’d do that?”

She looked unconvinced but didn’t push it. “Go wash up and have dinner.”

I nodded, relieved.

Dinner was quiet. Dad hadn’t returned from the dispensary yet, which was a blessing.

After eating, I went to my room, lay down, and laughed softly to myself.

The day had started with an LPG cylinder and ended with a police-worthy escape from a girls’ hostel.

If that’s not an “imperfect day,” I don’t know what is.

THE NIGHT

“Look at the time! Where have you been?” Mom shouted the moment I stepped in.
“Don’t tell me again that you went to the hospital to see your friend, like you said this morning!”

I didn’t reply. Silence was safer.

When Dad came home, she wasted no time. “He’s late again,” she complained.

Dad sighed. “I don’t care. Let him do what he wants. He’ll be the one to suffer in the future.”

He said a few more things, but honestly, I wasn’t listening anymore. My head was heavy — not from the whisky, but from thoughts.

Even at the dinner table, neither Dad nor I said a word. The only sound was the clinking of spoons against steel plates.

After dinner, I didn’t even switch on the TV. I just went to my room, sat on the bed, and let my thoughts run wild.

Rituparna had rejected Santosh because he didn’t have a job. For the first time, I realized how brutal life can be.
Does a job really buy love?
Is it true that the world only respects you when you’re earning?

Maybe it is.

Tonight, I saw it clearly — unemployed people like us are unwanted everywhere. In our homes, in society, even among friends. We don’t have “value” unless we’re successful — and “success” apparently means a steady salary.

I had never seen life this way before.

And those girls at the hostel — they called us “roadside Romeos.” The lesson? If someone ever calls you that, just start running. Because the next thing they’ll call is the guard… or the police.

Compared to Santosh, our situation was even worse. At least he was trying — giving interviews, facing rejection, still hoping.
We weren’t even trying. Especially me.

Maybe someday, someone like me will end up taking the same path Santosh did — unless I finally start doing something. Maybe from tomorrow. Yes… from tomorrow.

I lay down but couldn’t sleep. Thoughts kept pounding in my head. So, I picked up my notebook and started writing everything down — the story of how we wasted this day. I thought it might help me clear my mind.

And it did, a little. Writing about our imperfections somehow made them feel less heavy.

But there was still one thing bothering me — something I couldn’t shake off.

Finally, I gave up trying to sleep. I grabbed my phone and called Saswata.

It was 11:15 p.m.

“Hello?” came his sleepy voice.

“Saswata, it’s me,” I said. “I’m in big trouble.”

He yawned. “What happened? You ran away from home?”

“Worse,” I said. “I think I’ve fallen in love with Anindya’s sister — Susmita.”

There was a pause. Then Saswata practically screamed, “What?! Nooo… not again!”

I laughed quietly, staring at the ceiling fan. “I’m serious, yaar. I even have a plan.”

But before I could tell him, he cut the call.

I smiled to myself. Another imperfect ending to an imperfect day.

ABOUT US

All the characters you’ve just read about were the 2005 alumni of Bengal Engineering and Science University, Shibpur, Kolkata, and once lived together on the 2nd Floor, Oval Wing, Wolfenden Hall.

N.B.

All the female characters are purely fictitious (hey, don’t get upset about this — let some truths stay hidden 😄).

And yes, we’re human beings… so even after all this editing, there may still be a few small errors left. But that’s okay — after all, it’s called “The Imperfect Day.”

 

Afterthoughts

Looking back after two decades, The Imperfect Day feels like a time capsule — a chaotic, funny, and honest reflection of our youth. It reminds me of simpler days filled with wild plans, endless adda, and the kind of friendships that made every mistake worth remembering.
We were imperfect — but perfectly ourselves. And maybe that’s what really mattered.

 

 

 

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Distorted Thinking

Few days back I came across a nice e mail regarding distorted thinking....I thought i should post it in this blog since the article is very well written & it captures some of the most deadly fault we make when making judgement about some one...
15 Styles of Distorted Thinking
1.       Filtering: You take the negative details and magnify them, while filtering out all positive aspects of a situation. A single detail may be picked out, and the whole event becomes colored by this detail. When you pull negative things out of context, isolated from all the good experiences around you, you make them larger and more awful than they really are.
2.       Polarized Thinking: The hallmark of this distortion is an insistence on dichotomous choices. Things are black or white, good or bad. You tend to perceive everything at the extremes, with very little room for a middle ground. The greatest danger in polarized thinking is its impact on how you judge yourself. For example-You have to be perfect or you're a failure.
3.       Overgeneralization: You come to a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence. If something bad happens once, you expect it to happen over and over again. 'Always' and 'never' are cues that this style of thinking is being utilized. This distortion can lead to a restricted life, as you avoid future failures based on the single incident or event.
4.       Mind Reading: Without their saying so, you know what people are feeling and why they act the way they do. In particular, you are able to divine how people are feeling toward you. Mind reading depends on a process called projection. You imagine that people feel the same way you do and react to things the same way you do. Therefore, you don't watch or listen carefully enough to notice that they are actually different. Mind readers jump to conclusions that are true for them, without checking whether they are true for the other person.
5.       Catastrophizing: You expect disaster. You notice or hear about a problem and start "what if's." What if that happens to me? What if tragedy strikes? There are no limits to a really fertile catastrophic imagination. An underlying catalyst for this style of thinking is that you do not trust in yourself and your capacity to adapt to change.
6.       Personalization: This is the tendency to relate everything around you to yourself. For example, thinking that everything people do or say is some kind of reaction to you. You also compare yourself to others, trying to determine who's smarter, better looking, etc. The underlying assumption is that your worth is in question. You are therefore continually forced to test your value as a person by measuring yourself against others. If you come out better, you get a moment's relief. If you come up short, you feel diminished. The basic thinking error is that you interpret each experience, each conversation, each look as a clue to your worth and value.
7.       Control Fallacies: There are two ways you can distort your sense of power and control. If you feel externally controlled, you see yourself as helpless, a victim of fate. The fallacy of internal control has you responsible for the pain and happiness of everyone around you. Feeling externally controlled keeps you stuck. You don't believe you can really affect the basic shape of your life, let alone make any difference in the world. The truth of the matter is that we are constantly making decisions, and that every decision affects our lives. On the other hand, the fallacy of internal control leaves you exhausted as you attempt to fill the needs of everyone around you, and feel responsible in doing so (and guilty when you cannot).
8.       Fallacy of Fairness: You feel resentful because you think you know what's fair, but other people won't agree with you. Fairness is so conveniently defined, so temptingly self-serving, that each person gets locked into his or her own point of view. It is tempting to make assumptions about how things would change if people were only fair or really valued you. But the other person hardly ever sees it that way, and you end up causing yourself a lot of pain and an ever-growing resentment.
9.       Blaming: You hold other people responsible for your pain, or take the other tack and blame yourself for every problem. Blaming often involves making someone else responsible for choices and decisions that are actually our own responsibility. In blame systems, you deny your right (and responsibility) to assert your needs, say no, or go elsewhere for what you want.
10.   Shoulds: You have a list of ironclad rules about how you and other people should act. People who break the rules anger you, and you feel guilty if you violate the rules. The rules are right and indisputable and, as a result, you are often in the position of judging and finding fault (in yourself and in others). Cue words indicating the presence of this distortion are should, ought, and must.
11.   Emotional Reasoning: You believe that what you feel must be true-automatically. If you feel stupid or boring, then you must be stupid and boring. If you feel guilty, then you must have done something wrong. The problem with emotional reasoning is that our emotions interact and correlate with our thinking process. Therefore, if you have distorted thoughts and beliefs, your emotions will reflect these distortions.
12.   Fallacy of Change: You expect that other people will change to suit you if you just pressure or cajole them enough. You need to change people because your hopes for happiness seem to depend entirely on them. The truth is the only person you can really control or have much hope of changing is yourself. The underlying assumption of this thinking style is that your happiness depends on the actions of others. Your happiness actually depends on the thousands of large and small choices you make in your life.
13.   Global Labeling: You generalize one or two qualities (in yourself or others) into a negative global judgment. Global labeling ignores all contrary evidence, creating a view of the world that can be stereotyped and one-dimensional. Labeling yourself can have a negative and insidious impact upon your self-esteem; while labeling others can lead to snap-judgments, relationship problems, and prejudice.
14.   Being Right: You feel continually on trial to prove that your opinions and actions are correct. Being wrong is unthinkable and you will go to any length to demonstrate your rightness. Having to be 'right' often makes you hard of hearing. You aren't interested in the possible veracity of a differing opinion, only in defending your own. Being right becomes more important than an honest and caring relationship.
15.   Heaven's Reward Fallacy: You expect all your sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if there were someone keeping score. You fell bitter when the reward doesn't come as expected. The problem is that while you are always doing the 'right thing,' if your heart really isn't in it, you are physically and emotionally depleting yourself.
*From Thoughts & Feelings by McKay, Davis, & Fanning. New Harbinger, 1981. These styles of thinking (or cognitive distortions) were gleaned from the work of several authors, including Albert Ellis, Aaron Beck, and David Burns, among others.
 We should always remember that-